The time when a Burger King employee threw a double cheeseburger at me

If I could make this shit up, I’d be rich.  This happened just the past weekend, and I couldn’t pass up telling you all about my experience at Burger King.

The day started normal enough, aside from the fact that we had a wedding to attend and a reception afterward.  A friend of the family was getting married, and so in our best dress we made our way to the chapel.

I helped the photographer take some snaps as he was also part of the wedding.  It was his mother that was getting married.

It was a nice wedding.  By the time it was over though, we were starving.  Especially me.  I don’t do well without food. I start getting weak and wobbly.  Not a feeling I enjoy terribly.  So during the migration from the chapel to the reception, I figure it would be best to get a little something to eat.  Who knows how long it will be until we get food at the reception, I better eat now.

As it turns out, that was a mistake.  At least, the establishment I chose to go to was a bad decision.

I spied a Burger King up ahead and everyone agreed, Burger King it is.  I pull into the drive-thru and placed our order.

I ordered a double cheeseburger, no pickles.  I don’t like pickles on my burgers, but I don’t mind the taste that pickles leave behind.  Go figure.  I had a soda already from a stop I made before the wedding, so I didn’t need a combo or anything like that.  Just the burger please.

We made our way to the window, paid, and about 8 minutes later the disinterested employee in the window finally gave us our food.  The timer in their window said 8 minutes, but I already knew that because I was quite tired of waiting.

The double-cheeseburger looked sloppily prepared and not as appealing as I was expecting.  It was flattened by unseen hands and simply looked a complete mess.  I didn’t like it, and I’ll be damned if I was going to stand for the long wait only to get a shitty looking burger.

Fuck that, I want it my way!  This is Burger King for fucks sake!

I parked the truck and went inside, burger in hand. I approached the delivery counter to remain out of the way of people trying to give their order. I stood there for another 2 minutes and still no one acknowledged my existence. Frustrated, I grabbed the burger, threw the burger wrapper on the floor behind the counter and walked towards the exit.  The lady behind the counter finally acknowledged me with something I didn’t quite catch. She said it low enough that it didn’t carry far enough for me to hear.

Before I exited, I gave up. I didn’t want this cheeseburger anymore. I was done with it. I went back to the counter where an employee was standing, looked at her and said “You eat it”, and slapped it down in front of her. It may have been enough to spread a little ketchup and mustard, as Burger King double cheeseburgers are always tasty and laden with condiment love juice. I didn’t care either way, Burger King failed me this time around, and I was quite done.

I turned and walked out the door.

By the time I was getting ready to hop in my truck, the employee of Burger King that I gave my burger back to comes bursting out the door (literally) with my burger in hand. She yells a few choice words that I no longer remember and chucks the double cheeseburger at me.

She certainly wasn’t baseball material since the ground had more to fear from her throwing arm than I or the truck did. The slider hit the ground about a foot from my truck and literally slid itself under my truck. The top bun landing squarely underneath the middle of the truck, and the remaining two meat patties, cheese and bun made it all the way to the other side.

She quickly turned and ran back inside the Burger King establishment.

I was shocked. Floored. Pissed. All in very quick succession as evidenced by the “You bitch, get back here!” that came flying out of my mouth at top volume to ensure that she heard me, as well as everyone else in the vicinity.

I went back inside and again, went to the counter to be ignored. It’s like a game with these people. They were not looking to sell burgers or provide any kind of decent restaurant experience as much as they were trying to work my last nerve it seems.  This place was completely dysfunctional.

I asked for a manager, and I asked loud since there was no one to really help me up front, and there was a line of customers too! Everyone was in the back, and I could see the burger tosser looking at me and talking to someone that could only be in the office area or snack area. I don’t know, didn’t see it, but she was obviously ignoring me.

Three minutes have elapsed and still no sign of a manager!

All I wanted was the store number, but at this point Jacq had now joined me inside and had a pen and paper ready and was looking for information and wondering where the manager was as well. I knew at this point, I would be best letting her handle the rest of this, and I went back outside to wait in the truck and eat some of her fries while she left them unattended. I was still hungry, and now pissed and trying to control the rush of adrenaline coursing through me.

That isn’t always the easiest thing for me to do.  When my blood boils over, I’m more than willing to do things that I’ll later regret.  I’m sure I’m not alone with that.

Anyway, I was livid. If there is anything in this world that I cannot tolerate is food being thrown at me. I don’t know what it is, but it always makes me a pretty pissy person. I’ve always reacted negatively when it happens, and this time was no different, except that I laughed. She threw a f’n double cheeseburger at me!

Not long after enjoying a few of Jacq’s fries does an officer pull up and start walking towards the entrance. I’m feeling a little vocal still and yell out my window “be careful, they throw burgers at ya” and laughed. He nodded, smiled and went inside.

The next thing I see are two more units arrive on the scene.  What is this a party?  You can’t tell me…oh, they did.  They called the cops?  No shit?!?!?  Wow, these guys are special.  They just called the cops on themselves.  That’s a really special kind of special.  Can you say “Ding, Fries are done!”?

A nice lady cop comes up to my window and I go over everything with her.  She kinda laughs and asks me “Really?”.

“Yeah, really.”

She took my info and went inside.  I enjoyed a few more fries and waited.

Jacq came out and I could tell she was just as confused by everything that just transpired.  She hopped in the truck and began to explain everything that occurred inside Burger King’s baseball league of shame.  She started to say that everyone standing in line started talking to the first officer, totally backing up our side of the story as the events that occurred.  In fact the “assistant manager” admitted to the events and was trying to say that the employee was off the clock, so not to incriminate Burger King at all, or trying to sweep things under the rug a bit.

The first officer came back out and walked up to my truck. I offered him a french fry which he respectfully declined.

He asked me what I wanted to do or have happen.

“Nothing”, I said.  “I just wanted a double cheeseburger that looks appealing to eat, but I’m not going back into this one after all this, I ‘ll get more than a burger for sure with these people!”.

The officer laughed a bit and stated that this isn’t what he was expected when he got the call, and he couldn’t believe that a Burger King employee was out of control like she was.  A first for him, and his day was just starting.

This was a first for me as well.  I’ve always understood that the customer is always right, even when their wrong.  It’s part of the idea behind the “Have it your way” slogan that Burger King uses, right?  Am I wrong here?  Really, I’m really confused about the “Have it your way” statement now.  Don’t Burger King employees get a little training before they’re hired?

The officer stated he would simply notch this up to a miscellaneous complaint.  I suspect that means less paperwork for him, and that’s fine.  I didn’t start my day looking to take down a Burger King grease pit when I woke in the morning.

The officer gave us a case number, his card and said good day to us, and we left.

I found another Burger King (yes, I was determined to get a double cheeseburger, call me a glutton for punishment) and got my double cheeseburger.  Ya know what, it was terrific!  Well put together and un-flattened by heavy hands.

I quickly pounded the burger and made it to the wedding reception.  We were late thanks to this bitch of a Burger King employee.

But then, perhaps I shouldn’t really be surprised at all:

The Burger King where I didn’t get anything my way:
1329 South Harbor Boulevard
Fullerton, CA 92832-3001
(714) 871-8570
Restaurant #6062

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