I was recently contacted by Cyndi Warren from WarrenFamilyLife about comment moderation etiquette. I know my mother would be proud to hear that people are asking me something about etiquette, if not completely floored, so here are a few thoughts on what I believe the form of comment moderation etiquette might take.
Here is Cyndi’s email to me:
I know you recently did a post on comment etiquette. I'd love it if you'd do one from the other end of the spectrum, comment moderation etiquette. When I get a comment, I always try to reply personally. But I don't do it right on my blog because I know they won't get it unless they subscribed to comments. So I usually visit their blog read a post and make a relevant comment and thank them for their post. But then my blog looks like I just take comments in and never say anything back. Hmmmm … What to do? Then, I thought, I'll ask Wayne!
Thanks!
Cyndi
First off, thank you for asking that question Cyndi, it’s something all blogger’s might wonder about at some point.
I want to say that for the most part, I don’t mind that most of you just come to say hi with a comment and not really address the topic. My post on commenting guidelines was really meant to be a shot across the bow of the spammers boats, as well something that you loyal readers might take with you for use on your own blogs. Once we’ve taken the time to know each other a little bit, you pretty much have free reign to comment however you like, within reason of course. But that’s just it, you need to show some reasonability right, otherwise you might ruin a really good relationship over what? A comment? pshaw!
I’ve covered all that already, so what about when you sit down as a blogger to review your comments and respond back to your visitors? Are there any guidelines to follow? Any good tips that one could present to you?
I believe there is, and here are some of my thoughts on what those might be.
Review the reasons people leave comments
Let’s take a look at some of the reasons why someone might take time to leave a comment on your blog. Having these in mind will help you make your own decisions about any moderation etiquette there might be.
Some commentators:
- are honestly interested in the article and have something to say about it
- are looking to leave a link on your blog for some Google love
- want to call attention to something else that relates (or doesn’t!) to the topic
- just want to say ‘Hi’ and keep in touch
For all of these reasons, only one is self-serving to the person leaving a comment, and I can’t seem to think of any more reasons, so the odds seem pretty much in favor for a comment being, what I would call, a good comment.
A little self-serving is probably OK for most bloggers, but many time we find that the comments are just outright crap. Spam left behind by some troll who feels he is doing his client (because many are from ‘seo’ shops) or his site good. Moderating these comments can be tricky due to some spammers knowing that you are paying attention to the comments that come in after you make a post public. So spammers will make it hard by leaving a comment that is somewhat relevant.
If the comment is obvious spam, I’d say it’s very good etiquette to delete the comment. If you don’t other visitors will see that comment and realize that you are not really on top of your blog, or you just don’t care what people are saying, and that might detract from your real message and goals, whatever they might be.
Always post a reply on your blog
Sometimes you might get comments from visitors that you know will not get any reply you leave on your blog, so maybe you email them a response, like Cyndi does (which I think is fantastic). Why not place the contents of your reply on your blog as well? Maybe tidy it up a bit because if your emails are anything like mine, they might be a little more verbose than you need on your comment reply. I think you get the idea though.
Maybe you might leave a comment reply that states that you have contacted Mr. X by email. That' might actually impress some visitors, but it might be viewed as negative if the comment might appear to have some value to other readers as well. Blogging is all about the sharing of information, so why not share your response with everyone? (Barring personal matters perhaps)
Responding to comments shows to future visitors that you are actively engaging the visitors to your blog, and your visitors will appreciate that. After all, they are reading your writing, your thoughts put to pen (type in this case), and about your decided topic for the post. Why not go that extra step and communicate back to them via your comments?
Not only will that round out the visitor experience, but you might also start to see an increase in subscribers because of that.
Sometimes post a reply on your blog
You might find that for a particular post people are just saying “that’s great” or “well done” and not much else. I’ve always found myself in a pickle over these because I’ve felt that responding with a thank you to each individual is appropriate and just good manners. However, when you see it on your blog, it just looks tacky. “Thanks everyone” type responses are great, but what happens after you leave your thank you, and even more people come and comment, do you continue to thank people as these generic comments keep rolling in?
I say no, unless you want to. As a blogger, we are strapped for time. Most of us work day jobs, or have a family, kids, pets and shopping to do. So taking the time to respond to each and every comment consumes a little bit of time, which may or may not impact your own personal decision here.
In the end, I think we’re really talking about projecting our own insecurities. We WANT to respond to every single comment that comes in, and sometimes we do. But responding with a '”thank you” type response each time get’s old and looks robotic. That may take away from your goals.
I believe that your visitors will see what’s happening and all will be well with the world regardless. Put a thank you as a general blanket statement in the post itself if you feel that the post will only generate these types of responses, and maybe a follow-up thank you after confirming your suspicions.
In the end, I believe that if a visitor wants a response, they will ask a question of some type.
Never post a reply a on your blog
Could there ever be a time when you shouldn’t respond to a comment? Sure! The most obvious candidate for deletion is a comment with a case of spamitis, and the cure is deletion and no reply is warranted.
And to the joker in back row, no, the cure isn’t more cowbell. Sorry.
I can’t think of a single, solid reason why you shouldn’t comment back. Unless you don’t have time, or can’t think of something to say in response, you should probably try to comment back whenever you can and whenever appropriate.
In Conclusion
Blogging is a very rewarding experience for many of us, and sometimes that reward is questioned by our own standards of ethics, morals and just good human nature. I firmly believe that the people commenting on your blog are also other bloggers for the most part, so they probably understand.
Your commentators might have the same questions just as you do, so why not write your own post on what you feel is appropriate and how you might respond back or not respond back? Once that post is written, you can link to it in strategic places, like I have done with my commenting guidelines post (you’ll see the link near the comment submit button on my site).
Being up-front and setting expectations really helps your visitors understand more about you and what you find appropriate or inappropriate, but it will also help you as a blogger find some sanity when you start facing these internal moral dilemmas.
I know I' have, so surely others must too.
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Wayne John is a web developer in Southern California that shares his 25+ years of programming and web development experience freely and happily to anyone willing to learn. He also loathes speaking in the third person. If you enjoyed this post, make sure you 
Eyewriter, thanks for swinging by! Before I begin, please let me know a real name, unless, of course, that is a real name (you could have a tribal name, right?).
Many people just don’t leave comments. They find what they want and move right along. That being said, there are [i]some[/i] things you can try:
Leave a post that asks a question
Ask other bloggers to come and comment on a particular post
By leaving comments on other blogs that are similar in niche
That last item is pretty good I think. If you find another blog like yours that is getting comments, why not visit the commenters blogs and start leaving comments there too? After all, if they are willing to take the time to leave a comment on a blog similar to yours, it stands to reason that they might also leave a comment on your blog too.
My commentators are all people that I’ve had several interactions with and I’ve built a little report with them. They know me well enough, understand my personality a bit, and I’ve commented several times on their blogs too.
It’s a relationship for me, one that has been growing over the past year.
As for a sure fire way to get people to comment, I don’t think there is one. Each post creates new opportunity, so try different things and see what works best for you and your niche.
I hope that helps you out!
Wayne:
I found your comments on commenting inspiring in that they display a concern for blogging that digs beneath the surface of expressing oneself.
I have wondered about responding to comments on my blog and seldom do it, since it is so unlikely the commenter will ever return. Of course, that thinking ignores the probability that a comment suggests that the person actually engaged with the subject matter and the writing. In that case, it is reasonable to expect them to start a feed and return for more. Or so it seems.
Down to my real problem – comments are enabled, but not left as often as I would like. Theoretically, the content should be enough to encourage a comment. But, is there some additional way to encourage comments? I would love to have some to answer.
Thanks for all your gifts of info.
Hey there, was quite ill yesterday with food poisoning. Perfect example of why some people aren’t timely with a response, they’re too busy hugging the toilet.
Thank you Kristi, Vanea, Holte and Tim for sounding off on this post. Don’t want you to think that I’ve left the building.
I think you should just post response back to people on your own blog. Some will return and some won’t. By using the TopCommenter plugin you will likely get more return visitors.
I love it when someone comments on my blog, even if its telling me how crap it is, that means to me that someone has read it and made a judgment, no matter how wrong that judgment is, well maybe they were wrong.
If you can’t see any trace of my comment here, must be the Puffer fish who, maybe from a regrettable mistake, ate it…
! They run of me like devil of church! Lol! Lol!… Oh, lol… Hi Wayne! I just dropped by to say hi. 
But, if you see a comment here who fills all the place with cigar smoke, then please forgive my bad, bad habit. Lol, Wayne! Talking about commenting guide lines and spammers, i must say with deep regrets and black humour that even spammers are not happy to post a comment on my blogs!
I generally try to reply to everyone’s comment on the blog, just to show other commenters that there is a live person concerted about their replies. And also, in case two people visit the site with the same question, but only one person asks, maybe my answer will be seen by both.
While pressed for time, I didn’t reply to the people who didn’t really “need” a response. I replied to comments or questions. I figure if someone came by and just said “Well done” they probably won’t be back to see if I thanked them.
~ Kristi
Oh well, yeah, weather permitting right? California parks don’t shut down. Not the southern ones anyway.
Hmm..I here in PA they don’t open for a few more weeks…
In my thoughts I did, she passed away a number of years ago, and don’t worry, I’m not affected by it. lol
Today is a great day to visit an amusement park, very short lines today.
Glad to be in touch Wayne…did you spend some time with your mother today?
Hey Adam, yeah, don’t get me wrong. I have my funk spells too where I miss entire posts. It happens, and I think people are understanding of that.
You have a number of great posts that will continue to generate traffic for you, and after all that hard work, one surely needs to take some time out, refresh themselves and try to find a rhythm.
I think it’s all good though. Sometimes I would like some type of response from the blogger, but I also know that sometimes comment reminders by email get lost, especially when you have email issues like I had a month ago.
Anyway, good to hear from you again!
Interesting post, Wayne..I have not thought too much about Comment moderation etiquette…wonder if you’ll rank for that one…
I have gotten really bad with responding to comments when moderating..I most certainly am in a funk when it comes to blogging…
Many times when i see a ton of comments on a post I will not reply to each comment, but only the ones that ask questions.
But replying to all the comments like you do Wayne is surely the way to go to build long lasting relationships and a steady stream of return visitors.
Gina! Found it, lol. Hi Gina!
hahaha
LOL at the question “What’s your name”.
Manz, it happens from time to time. But you do try to get back, and that’s what matters. There are a number of blogs that allow people to leave comments, and yet, not one response from the author is in there. Even when there are direct questions. I think it’s misleading to the reader, no?
Hey fairy, what’s your name?
Demeur, lol, “That Chinese Wholesaler”, I’ve seen too many of them. Especially since I was trying to create an import business for tattoo supplies.
Funny that you mention a sidebar thing. Google’s Friend Connect stuff has a number of widgets, one being a comment widget. The only problem with that though is that you cna implement it, but what are you going to do with the blog comment system? Remove it?
I’ve been torn on this and have, as you can tell, stuck with the default blog commenting system.
Maybe I’ll implement the google comment system onto another blog.
Just great Demeur, one comment and you get me thinking new stuff when I’m trying to catch up with myself. lol too funny
Strangely I’ve only had one spammer in my blog comments. That Chinese wholesaler.
It kind of makes it difficult to reply at times. You either leave a reply in the comments or you go to their blog and leave an off topic reply. It’s like playing telephone tag. Maybe there’s a better solution. Would it be possible to have an area in the sidebar to deal with replys? This would be right up your alley Wayne. Funny how nobody’s thought of that before.
I did a post on this, mostly trying to find out what my commenters were expecting from me. I didn’t think of linking to it and I may do that, or maybe write a shorter statement type post and link to that.
When I get an obvious spammer, I just delete. When it’s a comment like “good post” but is just link dropping, I delete but I usually comment to say something like, “Hey, Fred, your comment looked like spam to me but if I was wrong, pop back and we’ll have a chat”. People who are following the comment trail will see how I’ve handled it and that I’m generally friendly but won’t stand for being used. That’s what I hope, anyway!
I don’t understand bloggers who give no reply at all!! Even when asked a direct question! Why bother blogging.
Being the “manager” of our blog, I’ll sometimes have to gently remind the others to reply to comments. As you say we all get busy!! Funny thing is, I’ll then neglect my own posts and visitor comments… I’m so bad!
That’s an excellent analogy! There is much wisdom in those words and sometimes it’s easy to forget those things when life becomes stressful. I know I’ve had to pull myself out of those ruts many times.
I think interaction is key to building a community type atmosphere, but then there are so many factors that go into it. Not being able to devote a full time mind towards these things will certainly be a factor in the way the blog grows. There’s always something that will be overlooked and discovered later. lol Always!
Hmm…I also think you’re the first person to use the quotes bbcode. Seems it needs a little css treatment. Thanks!
I know I’ve been a little put off by some of the spammers here, and I’ve taken steps to address that. We’ll see what happens, and you might expect a post on that as well.
Cheers Cyndi! Glad I could help out!
How did I know you would have the perfect answer! This helps me and I will start more interaction in my blog comments. Your guidelines remind me of a quote from [i]Stein on Writing:[/i]
[quote]…sex has to be good for both partners. That is also the key to writing both fiction and nonfiction. It has to be a good experience for both partners, the writer and the reader, and it is a source of distress to me to observe how frequently writers ignore the pleasure of their partners.[/quote]