As part of my effort to quit smoking, I came up with 22 things that I don’t like about smoking. The idea here is to list everything I don’t like about it, and keep the list in my pocket. When I have an urge to smoke, I will recall I have this list and review it to remind me of all those things I don’t like about smoking and myself when I smoke.
- I stink like an ashtray when I smoke. Even though I enjoy sweet smell of nicotine on my fingers after I smoke, I realize it’s just me that enjoys that smell. I smell horrible to others, especially those hot girls that don’t smoke that I’m hitting on…I’ll never get them in bed smelling like this.
- I’m losing money to a habit that isn’t paying me back. At about $4.50 a pack and $35 to $40 a carton, my cash flow runs negative. I have some bills I’d rather pay off, or perhaps even take another cruise someday.
- I grow short of breath faster than ever before. As I age and continue to smoke, I am beginning to feel much older than I already am. I tire more quickly.
- Limp Dick? What? The hell they say! I will not let my John Thomas be brought down by smoking. That flag will fly high until the day I die. Even if a little blue pill is in my future. Hell, if it makes you stiff, what’s the diff?
- I’m sucking a little white stick(inject your own euphemism here), and I’m not gay.
- I’m tired of the ashtray being around.
- I’m tired of feeling like a slave to the death sticks. I’m in charge here, not them.
- I could use the space in my pocket for something other than a pack of smokes
- I’m tired of constantly having to hit the liquor store just for a pack when I run out.
- I’m tired of having the ‘quit monkey’ on my back.
- I’m tired of my truck having empty cigarette packs in the back seat (that’s where they get thrown…)
- I’m tired of littering the earth with my butts.
- *smoke break*
- I’m tired of being interrupted with my own smoke breaks.
- Waking in the morning and communing with the kitty’s over a smoke has become worrisome. Why do I wake and smoke? I shouldn’t.
- I feel like an outcast amongst non-smokers.
- My teeth are starting to turn yellow.
- My fingers are starting to turn yellow.
- It won’t be long until my goatee turns white, and then yellow.
- “I’ve got pinhole burns down the front of my favorite satin shirt.” (Name that tune anyone?)
- Each cigarette I smoke is about 5 minutes wasted. Total estimated time wasted per day: About 2 hours. Wow!
- I would rather choke my chicken for 5 minutes than have a cigarette. Really, I would. (Here’s my flag…)
So there it is. 22 reasons that I could come up with, and quite plenty to remind me why I want to quit.
Is there anything you would add to the list?
Note to my subscribers and everyday readers: Yes, I’m straying a bit from the Blogger help, but I need to get over this hurdle. I also wanted to take a break from the help articles to figure out how I might liven them up a bit and not break the consistency I’ve built so far. I am enjoying all the encouragement and support you all have shown so far. I think this time is going to be “the” time I git er done. I know you can understand this, so thank you for hanging in there with me.
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Wayne John is a web developer in Southern California that shares his 25+ years of programming and web development experience freely and happily to anyone willing to learn. He also loathes speaking in the third person. If you enjoyed this post, make sure you 
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Terrific list Wayne.
It’s always entertaining to read articles that mix a little humor with something as serious as quitting smoking. I especially loved #13 and #14. lol.
I was a heavy smoker ( 3 packs a day )for most of my 18 years of smoking. I tried all kinds of ways to quit smoking without success until I discovered, quite by accident, a method that helped me quit in less than 1 week. I’ve been a non smoker now since 1985. Never had a desire to smoke again since that last puff way back then. I’ve recently started a quit smoking website of my own, offering a different perspective on quitting. If you get the chance give it a read, maybe during one of your smoke breaks. Can’t be any more of a waste of your time than those 2 hours you made mention of in #21
To all you smokers hoping to kick the habit. I know how hard quitting is, but keep the faith, you can do it if you really want to. I’d just like to add a warning though, for anyone considering using a nicotine replacement product to quit, that’s a sure fire way to almost guarantee you’ll stay hooked for far longer than you need to.
However, if you think you can’t quit without an NRP, then you might consider trying an e-cig. Many brands actually taste and smoke like the real deal. And if you aren’t really sure about quitting but just want to save some money, at least you’ll cut your cost down by as much as 75% as well as lose about 4,000 toxic chemicals found in real cigarettes.
Anyway, once again, great article Wayne. Loved it!
Art H´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at
This was a real great list…..
I sooooo know what you mean.
My back seat in my car used to get covered in empty packs.
I dont know if it would work for everyone,
but i have been using an e cigarette from an online company called elecorette…. and i have cut right down. from 30 a day last year to 3 smokes on my battery powered cigarette a day… and hoping to cut down to 2 a day at the end of the month.
I tried to give up using every quick fix there was going….
but nothing worked… this has been really good for me.
Also it has none of the toxins in it, so you feel loads better.
It’s worth a look into… you never know?!?!?
You can get them in black too…. which is great cause i like my black… wouldnt want to clash with anything i wore! hehe
Sue from Hertfordshire
For many, constantly reminding themselves that smoking is deadly has provided them the will. Some anti-smoking programs cultivate this fear, emphasizing the terrible damage smoking does to the body.
Oh so you think I was just a good girl?
You smoked?!?!
Yeah, Wayne have you quit yet?
I just wanted to add that cigs are $8 a pack here, thanks to the sixty five different cig taxes we now have. I’m exaggerating, but still it’s bad.
I still can’t believe there are [i]still[/i] so many people running over each other just to take time off their life span.
We ex-smokers are the worst
This is a great idea, I tried something similar, I carried a packet of cigarettes with me but kept a picture of my daughter in the box so every time I felt like a cigarette I would have to fight past my daughters eyes and it worked almost every time. If you are still struggling I know that there are some drug rehabs that have a section for people really struggling to quit smoking and want to spend some time receiving therapy/escaping from the world so it’s easier to not light up. My friend did this and it fixed her completely within two weeks.
I like smoking I just hate the Fact it costs me 70+ a week because I smoke so much!
i tried several brands. cigarette never tastes great, not to me
that prevented me from taking the habit in the first place.
I haven’t gotten to browse all these comments just yet, but as a former smoker I can truly say there is not one good thing about smoking. I feel better than ever, and every day I lit up was horrible. I can’t say there aren’t those “triggers” but the thought of smoking makes me want to puke. Not to mention cig smoke is more harmful to those who smell the smoke. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself, and by golly it’s about time I think about me.
So add this one to your list:
Life will be so much better without cigs. Nuf said.
You have done a great thing by smoking. Its very bad for our health. I liked your points
It is estimated that about half of all smokers die early from a smoking related disease. The following are some of the most common smoking related diseases that can be fatal:
· Coronary heart disease – may result in heart attack, other vascular disease, and perhaps lead to stroke.
· Lung diseases – infections such as pneumonia are more likely to be fatal for smokers.
· Lung cancer – as well as most other forms of cancer.
· Additionally, impotence, stomach ulcers and fertility problems may be associated with smoking.
· Everyday complaints such as coughing, sneezing and shortness of breath on exertion can be attributed to smoking.
· Smoking also causes premature wrinkling of the skin, bad breath, and an increased risk of macular degeneration, one of the most common causes of blindness in the elderly.
Women smokers are up against some unique risks.
· Women over 35 who smoke and also use birth control pills are in a high-risk group for heart attack, stroke and blood clots of the legs.
· Women who smoke are more likely to have a miscarriage or to deliver babies with comparatively lower birth weights. And babies born of mothers who smoke are not only likely to have low birth weight, they are more likely to die or to be impaired.
You just did what I recommend everyone who is trying to quit should do. Seeing it on paper is very motivational and when you feel like giving up you gotta go back and check that list again!
22 reasons… i think are not enough, many i believe will have more to add to your list.
—
Kate Wil
Drug Intervention Virginia
http://www.drug-intervention.com/virginia-drug-intervention.html
I see too many teenagers smoking these days, it’s not a nice habit to develop.
It really takes it out of you, great post!
Cheers
Virginia, nope, monkey is still on my back! (I missed this because you didn’t put a web site. Seems my software only sends an email when you leave a Url…odd)
Jackie, great advice and thanks for the kudos!
great looking blog – well done on producing such a nice looking site!
Once you’ve set a date for quitting stick to it – clear out all the ashtrays and lights etc and fire up your willpower. once you quit smoking you’ll never regret it!
Checking in on ya, Wayne! Did you successfully quit? Or is that little monkey still hanging on?
Thanks Kat! I’m getting so much support from people like you that I believe it will help me make the quit easier.
I hope you are successful quitting smoking. It sure is a tough thing to do- I did it almost 4 years ago- toughest thing I ever did, that’s for sure!
-Kat
You tick turd. Get yourself one of them there blogs and have yourself a good time. Come on you hedonist, everyone is doing it…
I don’t have a blog because i am lame. i reserve my few moments of wit to amuse my friends and evoke laughter that i can hear rather than recieving the always classic LOL. what a tard eh?
bwahahahaha!!!
Useless as a cheerleader..lol! Ryan, oh Ryan. Philosophy ya say? I wonder if it is any harder for hedonist. Although, the definition of a hedonist can be relative to those observing the behavior. A hedonist is driven by pleasure, so it would depend on how you view it.
Why is it you don’t have a blog?
Is it harder to quit if you’re a hedonist? I’ve wanted to quit sporadically, but i sadly realize that whether i die at 55 or 95, I’ll still be wanting more life. 40 years or 40 minutes, its all the same joke. Enjoy yourself. Smoke up, drink up, just don’t live miserable. Sorry wayne, I’m worthless as a cheerleader…unless the chant starts with gimme an f…gimme a u…..
Oh don’t you just know it. I’m so tired I can slam my head on the desk and be out in a second. Figuratively speaking of course.
I realized that I said ‘I’m tired’ over and over and over…because in fact I am quite tired of smoking and this post shows how tired I am. Gary opened my eyes a bit and I’ll be coming out with a few more posts that will express the positives of smoking. I’ll carry both lists around, and that should be enough to remind me why I’m making this decision when I get urges in the future.
I prefer to finish off the entire pack and have none around. That way, if I get the urge, I’ll have to take the time to hit the store and buy a pack. There’s plenty of time in there to allow me to change my mind…which I could use sometimes. A little time to get over the urges.
Thanks for chiming in Theresa! Thanks for faving on BlogCatalog!
P.S. On my first anniversary, I threw away the whole carton of cigarettes. Seems I didn’t need them after all. And yes. I do miss them … but I hardly ever miss them. If you get my meaning.
My goodness. You must be exhausted after reading your list. The ones that begin with “I’m tired,” are the real tiresome kind.
Try this: “I Quit.” Now, carry a pack of cigarettes around with you. Repeat after me, “Who’s the boss? I’m the boss.” Because YOU ARE the boss, you will be allowed to smell the cigarette, hold it, put it in between your lips, drag on it, everything except light the damned thing. By always keeping them near, you will have your imaginary friend with you, (cigarettes are not your friend.)
Next, get two photographs, this is important, one is of a healthy lung and the other is a diseased lung. Meditate upon the ones (you have two) that you want in your chest. Keep asking yourself, “Who’s the boss … me or the cigarette?”
October 11th will be my 12th cigarette free anniversary. I cold turkey’ed eight times before I got it right. I had always thrown out my cigarettes. The last time, I kept a pack on my person and the rest of the carton (to keep them fresh) in my freezer.
Bon chance.
I’m sorry to hear that Patty, the addiction is amazingly strong, and the effects are oh so slow. What a bad combination.
Thanks for the kind words Patty.
My dad smoked his whole life (he told me he started at age 12). He only quit when the doctor said, you’re going to die if you don’t quit. But by then it was too late, his emphysema was pretty advanced. He had such a horrible, horrible cough and died far too young. Quit for your health. It’s so worth it. I wish you all the best!
@Phil – Change the domains www dns record to ghs.google.com. Go to the Publishing tab, click advanced mode, enter http://www.yourdomain.com into the textbox. Save it, and wait. How’s that for short and easy? Full full and lengthy, check this out: http://www.waynejohn.com/post/2008/08/19/Bloggercom-Help-Lesson-9-Publishing-Settings.aspx
The DNS could take a while sometimes. I find it quick most of the time, but it ‘could’ take a bit. Worry after 6 hours.
Thanks for the positive view on my continued smoking…should I dare…damn. Say it like ya mean it! lol
@Gary – You are the man. The man I tell ya! Brilliant, absolutely fabulous! I know one puff is all it takes, I learned that about myself loooooong time ago. good times…good times…
@Leslie – I like jou jou, thanks! Good thing we aren’t waking up next to each other, the first thing I do is smoke. You’d be gagging, I’d be dragging, and the dog wouldn’t know what to do. teehee…lol
It’s ironic that I hate the smell of smoke and continue to do so. Hells Bells. Especially morning smoke. I don’t smoke til midday, so if someone stays over and has one in the a.m…I want to gag. Like Karen I’m sending you good jou jou. You can do it.
well as far as lists go that is a good list—BUT!!?? As one who has successfully quit (nine monthes now and counting–) I think if your gonna carry a list around in your pocket for referral—it should be a positive list of why being a non smoker is benificial. In short re-write your list and make it a list of positives for not smoking, not a negative list of what smokers are all about. However that you are quitting is a good thing and I applaud your making that decision and wish you well —each successfull day makes it just that little bit easier to do yet another day——and after a time—you begin to realize how much time has passed that you didn’t THINK about smoking—telling you that you ARE in control. (warning—do not ever believe you can have just one cig—-you’ll lose—so just grit your teeth and say no, and keep on trucking)
hi, how do you get the blogspot or blogger domain to link up with your domain name, I have been trying to get my 2 names, splashjam.com and splashjam.blogspot on the same page. I want the blogspot arrangement but to use the splashjam.com title. Does that make sense?
I dont have the patience to read into it. If you could offer a bit of advice I’ll be grateful.
Regarding quitting smoking and tobacco companies, they add nicotine to the ciggies to make it addictive, and whatever brand you smoke doesnt matter cos the chances are that your favoutite brand are owned by British American Tobacco.
Smoking has a coolness about it when you are young and fit, as you get older and realise we aren’t going to die in a blaze of glory or anything spectacular, we are just going to become old, smelly, disgusting, constantly ill, die in pain from cancer/stroke/heart attack etc or become a burden to your entire family to the point that they will be releived when you are dead. You will also be poor and have nothing to leave anyone for their efforts!
Just quit and do it now because there are a shitload of rich BAT company shareholders planning their retirements, cruises, etc, on the back of your addiction.
Hope this helps!good luck.
@alex – That’s beautiful! Although, I’m one that will suffer through a headache before I pop an aspirin…I’m just a dope that way I guess. I really don’t like pills as they are man-made.
I may try that though, I really just want to stop, and if that will help then I’m sure I’ll change my mind about popping pills.
One possibility you might consider if the physiological aspects of overcoming the addiction get to be too much: Chantix. It’s a prescription drug that you’d have to see your doc to get. I know that I’m all ANTI-RX! ANTI-DRUG-COMPANY! on my own blog, but having worked in pharmacy for 12 years, I’ve had a lot of opportunities to talk to ex-smokers about what worked for them.
Chantix is different from Wellbutrin or Zyban in that you don’t have to quit first to start taking it, and it’s only a three month therapy (within your physician’s parameters, of course). You begin about a week before you go off cigarettes completely so the drug has a chance to build up in your system a little, then continue through those first few critical weeks. My patients who said the withdrawl was the worst part about smoking cessation, praised this product over all the others (patch, wellbutrin, gum, etc.) that they’d tried.
Anyway, it’s just another weapon to consider adding to your arsenal, should you need it.
hell, if it wasn’t for country music, I’d probably still be picking my nose behind the computer on Friday nights.
Wait a second…I still do.
To be honest, country music opened a whole new social scene for me. I found that I can actually dance as long as it’s choreographed, like country dancing is, and I actually enjoy the music. Particularity the older country music…the kind that most people will want to kill themselves when they hear it…
“My D.I.V.O.R.C.E….” (stuck in my head now…)
It did at the time…I was totally into country at the time..yeah, nice combo! We drove each other crazy. I learned to like ‘em well enough.
@Roger Green – With everything I’ve done to myself in High School and my early twenties, I’m amazed to still be alive quite frankly. I don’t want to think I’m living on bonus time, but sometimes when I think back, I can’t help it. I’m sorry to hear about your father, smoking can’t help anyone right?
@Signe – Does it drive you crazy? I’m a freak for Floyd and it just drives Jacq nutty…she calls it screaming babies…of course, I enjoy the obscure ‘is that music?’ type of stuff. lol
[b]Anyone remember[/b] the Pink Floyd song ‘[i]Several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave and grooving with a pict[/i]‘? No, didn’t think so…
I had an ex…it was one of his fave songs. Crazy world!
My father smoked, and thiough he quit 30 years ago, I’m convinced that it took years off his life. He died in 2000 at age 73 of prostate cancer, but there were other complications as well.
@KathiD – Thanks mucho! I always believe that things happen for a reason. Why I’m smoking I have yet to figure out, other than my own addictive personality. You’re absolutely right, each time I have learned more and more about myself and my habit. I’m at the same point now where I have basically given up…but I don’t want to. I know I can get out of it…I just need to build that will power.
I would not want to quit the same way you did. Sound’s like a much harder road to travel. Hat’s off to you for making it through to the other end.
I’ll send you some encouraging words. I quit several times before I quit. I got to the point of not wanting to even try since I always failed. Then I read somewhere that every time you try to quit and fail, you learn something that helps you the next time, and it’s true. So don’t think of them as failures, but as learning experiences.
I can’t wish on you the thing that finally made me quit. My brother was dying of cancer and I made a bargain with God that if I quit, he would let my brother live. That God is a crafty one. By the time my brother died, I had quit for good.
@Adam Y – That’s pretty true when you boil it down. Just like Pavlov’s dog right? Except, without so much drool. Thanks for commenting, I just learned a little bit more about Nelson Mandela.
@Nick – I remember my visit to NY and was shocked to find the prices per pack were $8.00!!! WTF! Needless to say, we didn’t buy a carton…just a couple packs…
I entered the workforce right after they quit allowing people to smoke at their desks. I guess that ended sometime in the 80’s?
Nick, thanks for the encouragement!
@Signe – I’ve always been mad, I know I’ve been mad, like the rest of us have. They make you explain why you’re a madman, even if you’re not a madman. Thanks!
@Karen – Oh Karen, you know it will only last for a short while…and then pass. I know a number of you are just like me, smoking, drinking, party on Garth and all that.
The last time I quit, on day one I was still hanging with the smokers…tempting fate as it were. I never smoked…for a few months. Until my boss pissed me off (trigger). That’s a funny story, and part of what I have planned for this mini-series of posts.
I’ll have my bic at the ready for you regardless of what I do Karen!
You know I like you wayne, but if you sunconsiouly quilt me into thinking I need to quit smoking I’m going to be really pissed off!
I like the list, maybe I’ll try that myself, until then I’m sending you good jou jou and anti-smoking thoughts!
Pink Floyd.
And good luck!!
Good luck with that. Though I’ve never smoked, I think quitting became much, much easier for people in NYC when it became illegal in restaurants and bars. It’s hard when it’s around you all the time… I remember meetings at the Mexico City office of a client years ago where everyone was smoking at their desks… I hated that!
22 solid reasons…
The one that really made me want to give up (7) was listening to Nelson Mandela talk about his time in prison. He urged other inmates not to smoke because then the guards, who supplied the cigarettes, would have some sort of power over them.
Obviously I’m not in prison, but I like the sentiment, that smoking is allowing someone to have power over you, whether that is the tobacco companies, the shopkeepers or the government.