To have or not to have kids, that is the question

Author wayne on July 1, 2008 

I recently revealed that I do not wish to have kids in this lifetime, and I'm quite comfortable expressing that fact.  What I find however is that there are some strong opinions around this topic, so I thought a post was in order to help me understand why.

I just read an article from Newsweek that asked Are couples with no kids happier?  The article didn't really take any side, but the comments were quite amusing to me.  It made me realize that there are some very strong opinions on this subject, and I really don't understand why that would be.

Since I recently found a nice web site to make polls and surveys, I decided to create a few to help understand this better.

All responses are anonymous!  Please click the following link to open a new window to take the survey:

Thank you for participating.  If you would like to leave a comment below on this subject, please feel free to do so below.

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  1. Bunni
    Bunni Says:
    July 1. 2008

    We've discussed this a bit, but I'll say this. It's a very individual choice. As Apollo would instruct "Know Thyself." If you are nurturing loving person who want kids, have at it. If, on the other hand, you don't have the time or patience to house train a puppy, you might want to think again about having kids. But either way you are making a sacrifice-so you have to really understand what it is that you want.
  1. Wayne
    Wayne Says:
    July 1. 2008

    @Bunni - Hi Bunni! Thanks for taking time to comment. Very good point there, one should understand the ramifications of either side before deciding anything.
  1. Rose
    Rose Says:
    July 1. 2008

    Having children is a big decision to make. I respect your decision not to have children. I only hope that there will not come a day that you'll regret it. There are some decisions you'll make in life that will live with you forever.



    Yes I do know some parents who I feel should not have had children. I sometimes get angry as my youngest daughter is in heaven and here we have a society full of children abused and unloved.

    Spare the rod love the child.
  1. Wayne
    Wayne Says:
    July 1. 2008

    See, and that's just it. If I were to change my mind later, I could adopt a child, and that, I feel, is a better way to handle change in my particular situation. And better for the world as well. Don't need to have too many of ME running around this earth. Imagine the consequences! hahahaha

    Happy Canada Day you canadian you! Smile
  1. Wandering Coyote
    Wandering Coyote Says:
    July 1. 2008

    Hey there,

    Just wanted to thank you for the comment you left yesterday. I took your poll re. kids, too. It's a hard topic, and a very personal one. I'm almost 34 and have yet to hear the tick of my biological clock, so I'm in no hurry to decide either way yet.
  1. Demeur
    Demeur Says:
    July 1. 2008

    Well pretty soon the choice will be taken away (biological clock and all). Adoption is actually much harder than it seems in terms of process and emotional problems later. What's your other half think about all of this? Remember it takes two to tango : )
  1. Wayne
    Wayne Says:
    July 1. 2008

    We are in agreement that we could both live the rest of our lives happy without any children. We have many friend whom have kids that we spoil as if we're their aunt and uncle.

    She's been fixed and won't allow me to do it for various reasons that I won't go into here. I'd love to, but I agree with her on her reasons.

    Honestly, at this point, we don't ever foresee having kids anyway. Adoption, while hard, is an alternative none-the-less should we change our minds. But like I said, we are pretty adamant with this particular decision.
  1. GaryJay
    GaryJay Says:
    July 1. 2008

    Having children is not a decision one can say yes to and then later decide you don't want to play the game anymore-----. We already have a generation of kids that were raised by nannies, and our baby-sitter school. They can't read, they can't write, yet they will be the first to tell ya how great they are---afterall they ahve been told thjat all their lives, along with and here's five bucks go play, daddy and mommy are busy.----(parents who thought having children would be cool---but then decided they didn't want to play that game)
  1. Wayne
    Wayne Says:
    July 1. 2008

    Zactly right! Another reason I was turned off by the whole idea. It's just not right on so many levels.
  1. Rose
    Rose Says:
    July 1. 2008

    Thank you Wayne.
  1. Wayne
    Wayne Says:
    July 2. 2008

    So far we have 8 respondents to the survey. I think I'll let it run for a month or until we have 100 respondents, and then post the results. Should have stated that in the post, but then I'm still new to the software too.
  1. Kathi D
    Kathi D Says:
    July 2. 2008

    We decided not to have children and we haven't regretted it. I imagine it would be a lot worse to decide to have children and regret that choice later. The one thing I recommend, and it sounds like you have done it, is to actually DECIDE before it's too late. You don't want the bio clock to tick away and then realize you forgot to have children.

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